finger poop and rabbit nuggets

Ever since I can remember Elle has been obsessed with her own poop...it all began back when she was still in diapers. I was Washing the mountain of dishes and bottles piled in my sink... I had my back to her as she sat on the other side of the gate that divided the kitchen and hallway... I remember thinking "ooh yea I got this mom thing dowwwn! " I glanced back occasionally to check the status of my sweet little doll...and every time she was sitting at the gate playing with a small toy....as I picked up a dish I peered over my shoulder to check on my perfectly behaved child expecting to see her still playing quietly... But what I saw was anything But perfect....SHIT!! yea that's right shit everywhere!! "what the.. " I dropped the dish and moved closer...it was on the walls, the floor, the gate, and my "perfectly behaved" child. As i came closer i noticed it wasnt just on her face but she was chewing on the brown substance! She had painted some very artistic swirls on my freshly painted walls... I would have been really impressed if it wasnt a bowel movement she painted with..if you don't know me here's a little background I'm a nurse and a self proclaimed germaphobe so this was a true nightmare for me. I picked her up very carefully trying to touch her as little as possible. I got her in the bathtub and rinsed her off removing all the gross debris.... I poured an entire bottle of soap over her and scrubbed her she was nothing more than a blob of bubbles with eyes sticking out. I rinsed her off cleaned her hands 2 more times with another soap I had and I rinsed out her mouth and brushed her teeth I then thought "hmmmm I probably should have done this first" I changed her and moved her to another room and then gathered my cleaning supplies to tackle the shit massacre. Scrubbing, bleaching, and repeating over and over until I was worried I'd remove the paint with any further cleaning. I then was brought back to the crap she had eaten.... "OMG she ate shit!! Would she get sick or even die?!? Ahh I ran through the house frantically searching for the number to poison control... Finally got it! I dialed when I reached the operator i told her of the ordeal...she chuckled and said "usually they just have a taste then they aren't interested anymore" a taste wtf I though to myself... I muttered "o OK" "just keep an eye on her " she said, then the conversation was over.... I sat down thinking of this repulsive shitarama I just endured... I definitely don't have this mom thing down!..... After that day I figured my shitarama days were behind me... wrongo! she had now discovered she could paint with poop what's better than that!! EVERY time she pooped she took it out of her diaper and tried to paint objects...in a desperate attempt to stop the madness I placed several diapers on her when that didn't work I put pants on her... Nope didn't work either so I put the footsie PJ's on her and it seemed to do the trick but as she got older I assumed she would become disinterested but No! She eventually figured out how to get into the PJ's too:( every morning around 10 she'd poop and I had to have her right next to me at that time so I could quickly change her before.... Well you know.. 2 weeks ago my now 4 year old came into my bedroom and said "mommy please don't be mad" oooh yea I knew this was gonna be a good one... "What is it worm?" "I picked a poop out" "you what??" "I had a poop in my butt so I picked it out" "what?, where elle? ew thats gross what's wrong with you??" What she said next disturbed me even more than the first statement.... "I flicked it next to the couch....next to the others" "what!!! Others!! Omg I jetted to the living room. she pointed out the shit cemetery. I moved a box of toys over and sure enough a pile of new and old "rabbit nuggets" "are you kidding me elle who does this!!"......"ummmm me...sorry"......I went to gather my cleaning supplies....... it's been 2 weeks since the last shitarama but I know it's only a matter of time... The only thing that keeps me sane is holding on to the idea that quite possibly she will one day have children that will do the same and I can safely watch from a distance as the second generation shitarama unfolds...ooh what a happy day that will be :) Love, luck and sticky fingers Farrah